Holiday Roundup!

Happy New Year, beloved readers! And by beloved readers I mean our moms.

Speaking of moms, once again Amy’s mom helped me out with with a lovely new piece of Christmas decor that shall be liberated from the confines of my home shortly. Oh yes, this little reindeer will be set free to live in a Goodwill of the greater Washington area any day now. Quite possibly in the next few hours. I hope he finds a new home for the 2014 holiday season.

Meanwhile, at Goldfinger’s annual Christmas soiree, Mr. Bond was about to die.

 

While I have to admit this isn’t nearly as, um, unique as the “tree” I received last year, there is something odd about celebrating Christmas with the Arctic Circle version of the golden calf from The Ten Commandments.

Actually, this really isn’t that bad as a seasonal decoration. After all Christmas decor comes in a few different varieties, and “Glitzy” is one of them. The only really odd choices are the very low quality fake flowers and the incongruous addition of the country kitsch snowman head, which falls into the “Country Christmas” decor category. There is also an unfortunate antler injury that should be glued/taped back together.

These things could be rectified very easily by someone who gave a crap. I am not that person.

 

Craft-tastrophe – Holiday Edition!

Why donate boxes of pasta to your local food pantry when you can make this instead?

This stunning Christmas tree really stands out from the crowd in its combination of innovation and desperation.

While hideous, it is still impressive that someone was able to look at their pantry and their junk drawer and think to themselves, “If only I had a red cardboard megaphone from last night’s high school football game… then I could make a Christmas tree!”  After mugging a cheerleader and taking her megaphone, just for giggles they mounted it onto a base of… honestly, I have no idea what that white base is – a bowl?  Glass lampshade?

Seriously, look at this again:

Tree Details

There are more types of pasta on this tree than on the Olive Garden menu.

There are eleven types of pasta visible here.  There’s at least three more on the tree, but if you really are using this as a way to learn the shapes of pasta, I think you are on the wrong blog. There’s also a number of golf tees, buttons, bows, stickers, earrings, beads, a cinnamon stick, and images cut out of photos and cards.

Yes, images cut out of other sources.  So not only did this crafter make a Christmas tree out of everything available in a hoarder’s pantry, but then proceeded to decorate this thing with snowman cutouts.

This is where the desperation comes in. After all of this work (yes, work – just because it’s awful doesn’t mean it was easy to put together) the crafter went ahead and scotch taped the snowmen onto it.

Like there was a pressing deadline on this thing. Like Santa wasn’t going to stop at the house if this wasn’t next to the fireplace.

Or maybe the pasta was in lieu of cookies.