Reduce. Reuse. Regurgitate.

Breakfast Club Dolly 2

Please note that the author/sweater girl, much to her dismay, is not Goth Dolly Parton.

Finally, an answer to the question “What would Dolly Parton wear if she went Goth?”

This sweater is not just a head-scratching combination of country music bling and teenage gothy rebellion, this thing is a whole body scratching combination of many different dead animals. Or an incredible example of letting no scrap of pelt – or rhinestone – go to waste.

How many animals were harmed in this production? (Vegans, now might be a good time to look away.)


The care on the reverse reads as follows: Place in bag and give to Goodwill.


The Mrs. Roper Maternity Collection

Poorly Photoshopped Head

Please note that the author is not really Audra Lindley.


No, I am not pregnant in this photo. Oddly, I didn’t want to be photographed in this psychedelic loungewear during my pregnancy, partly out of self-respect and partly out of wanting to protect my unborn child from the polyester fumes. I still didn’t want to be photographed in this, nor does anyone, ever.

Then why do I still own this trippy little number that Amy gave me to celebrate my knocked-up-ed-ness? Theme parties. If someone throws a seventies party I am going, and I am going to be soooooo comfortable while all those other women are in go-go boots and miniskirts.