That is where my pen is

 

This cowboy is hard to resist.  Originally designed to grow a cactus, nothing like a prickly tickley.  I have no plans for growing a cactus, but it makes a great place to store a pen or perhaps a fat marker.  For a man with a perpetual boner he sure doesn’t look happy, maybe he needs cactus boob lady.  How long do you think this could sit on my desk at work before I got called to HR?

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Just in time for Halloween – A very odd clown

This odd little clown is a thank you gift for Molly Mobbie.  The clown appears to be sitting on top of some sort of table that is perched atop of some small animal.  No matter what I do I cannot get a clear pic of this clown, this leads me to believe the clown is possessed.  Also, the clown’s eyes freak me out.  This thing is just weird looking.  Who in their right mind thought this was going to be a big seller?  It looks like the clown is crushing a small animal. FREAKY!

Note from the gifter: Amy I am so sorry. It was clearly a bad idea to get anything commemorating an evil clown sacrificing a small animal via table crushing. You should donate (okay, burn) this immediately. My luck has turned for the better since this evil clown left my home. I do not think that is a coincidence. I’m pretty sure this was originally sold by Jack Marshak.

A bank so we can save for the future

On a recent visit to Brig we received this lovely item, a wedding gift for the newlyweds.  Nothing says save your money like a pink iridescent monkey bank.  I think I might have to put money in it just so I can smash it to get the money back out.  I especially love the tiny monkey, you can’t tell from the pics, but it has clearly broken off and been glued back on.  Someone cared enough about this ugly ass monkey to glue it back together, wtf.

Meet Dolly, Molly Mobbie’s Tarted Up Country Cousin

Oh Molly Mobbie, just when I thought you were the most wonderfully kitsch thing I’d ever receive, Amy had to go and give me your cousin. Your country cousin with precisely applied jet black eyeliner and bright red lipstick, giving her a certain smutty adorableness. Unlike Molly, who is hiding her enormous head under a bonnet with a very trendy bow, Dolly has a simple polka-dotted ribbon adornment that matches her apron. While both Molly and Dolly have gigantic noggins and feline companionship, Molly – being the citified cousin – gazes appreciatively/psychotically at the grandfather clock in (presumably) the parlor of her townhome in the state capitol. Dolly is stuck spinning yarn on some barely settled prairie.

Luckily for Dolly, she was painted by a different Holly-hobbyist.  How do I know, aside from the obvious difference in quality? Once again, this creation was signed by the crafter. A crafter who had the ingenuity to add details using felt-tip pens. Dolly is actually very well executed artistically – she’s just still really, really tacky.

Were ‘paint your own’ Holly Hobbie knock-off kits a bit of a trend in the 1970s? Can a reader answer this? And by ‘reader’ I mean ‘one of our moms.’  How else can I explain that there are two big-headed girls currently residing in my closet?  And now that this is a potential trend in the ugly gifting world I have to keep them both for a few months just in case I have the opportunity to do a formal family photo later.